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Gondola: Stick a Suppository Up Your App

Brian’s Billion-Dollar Business Ideas #5,688,004: Whet Your APP-etite.

For the people who just need to share fucking EVERYTHING, and document each cup of coffee and meal and trek to Target and each time their dog wags its tail and they get the car washed and, well, go get the deal… Welcome to Gondola.

Sure, there are apps to track how many times you poop, and just how much, or even WHERE you’ve dropped dookie. But not one could tell you WHERE IT WENT once you pulled that lever.

Until now.

The Gondola app, via our unique suppository (developed with Garmin), can track your poo from the source to the waste treatment plant. Prefer to drop one in the woods? See if it gets disturbed for up to thirty days! Share the progress of your poop as it winds its way through miles of sewer on top social sites like Facebook, Twitter, and even Chaturbate! Tag your friends, and cheer that turd on. In-app purchases available from sponsors like Green Giant, Planters and Charmin. Ships with seven starter suppositories and sample Tweets.

Gondola: The world’s number two fecal finder.

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Brian

Brian