The Blog

soup can
BlogForced Feeding

It’s no “Stanley Trzetrzelewskakiewiczski’s Traditional Egg Drop Soup,” certainly… But that McDougall knows his Asians. And if ya go tellin’ ‘im any different, he’ll knock yer teeth out! On a side note, if you haven’t yet tried Shamus MacGillicuddy’s Traditional Bolognese, you’re really missing out.

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jinn and juice
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Jinn and Juice. Great duos make the movie sometimes. Consider Marty and Doc. Tango and Cash. Kirk and Spock. Jake and Elwood or John Connor and the Terminator, or Riggs and Murtaugh… How about Vincent and Jules, or Hansel and Zoolander? You get the drift. Much like Han and Chewie

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seafood disaster
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With regard to the photos of your dinner: Please stop posting these. Seriously. I mean, any fucktard with even the most basic communication skills can place an order in a restaurant. It’s not something to be bragging about. (“Looky what done happened! I gots food.”) In fact, I’d venture to

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mung solo lbum
BlogForced Listening

You may know of Led Zeppelin (and other bands as well) having had practice sessions in Clearwell Castle following Robert Plant’s personal tragedy, but you may not be aware of the band Helium Submarine and their lower-budget recording sessions high in the Rocky Mountains. As I complete my research and

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Anyone can imagine a world of peace and love and never-ending happiness and blue skies and all of that bullshit. And anyone who watches enough television can imagine a world based within a world that’s taking place in an alternate reality of their favorite show. However, it takes a real

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When it comes to updating a room in the old house, little can compare to the utter rage-inducing past time of painting the walls… and spattering that color all over the flooring, regardless of how careful you were in shoring-up that drop cloth. The choices in hue are endless, as

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sweet potato pie chart
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All of this “racial tension” talk, and nobody taking the time to look at the things that bring us all together and blur the lines put in place by some social constructs or other meaningless media-fueled bullshit designed to further divide. We’re all just people, really. And having never seen

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app launch
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Brian’s Billion-Dollar Business Ideas #5,688,004: Whet Your APP-etite. For the people who just need to share fucking EVERYTHING, and document each cup of coffee and meal and trek to Target and each time their dog wags its tail and they get the car washed and, well, go get the deal…

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Blog

There I am, watching The Love Boat, and it hits me: It’s not the sort of show you can just join midway through the third season. I’m completely lost at this point… The plot is all over the place. I mean there’s a gopher loose on the ship, but then

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BlogFamily Dinner Discussions

Actual Breakfast conversation: Ethical Cannibalism. “I don’t believe that it would be as simple as a cut-and-dried argument about just WHICH people would be eaten.” “True. They would have to be ‘food-safe’ or inspected like beef and so-on.” “Are we talking people farms? Like ‘we can breed them in Montana,

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titanic part two
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Oscars on your mind? Me neither, because I work for a living. But that didn’t stop me from crafting a little Movie mash-up for you. I’m a giver, after all. That said, enjoy this blended mash of Titanic and The Revenant. I call my treatment Titanic Number Two: The Remnant.

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lake auction cars
Blog

The Ted Kennedy Collection promises to be a huge draw at next January’s Barrett-Jackson Scottsdale auction… (cue rim-shot)

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Blog

Sit back and enjoy another “Conversation Borne of Extreme Misunderstanding of Terms and Conditions” or “Brian’s Wishful Thinking, A Ride Through Old Town on a Holiday Weekend” Edition: “Look at that, will you? ‘Greatest Furniture Sale!’ That’s some lofty expectation.” “What are you talking about?” “The sign stretched across the

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Oh, Hollywood, when will you learn? NO ONE wants to see a classic movie like Ghostbusters ruined by changing it all up to become some all-woman buddy movie, as evidenced by the deafening silence in theaters. You re-make, re-launch and re-define everything until the life is sucked from it time

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engineering
Blog

I am appalled at Google’s lack of a doodle celebrating the birth of one of history’s finest inventors on this, the fourteenth of July. Not even a simple tip of the Silly Boobs Trucker Hat could be posted to honor Richard “Kewpie Dick” Delahanty, inventor of the aforementioned head wear,

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movie poster toilet
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Considering that in modern-day Hollywood, virtually everything can benefit from a remake, I’m finding time to finish a script idea that could go one of two ways: 1. ZAPRUDER! becomes a musical comedy, set in a just-off-Broadway theme, but as told from an independent filmmaker who is attempting to make

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BlogFamily Dinner Discussions

My Family’s Dinnertime Roundtable Discussion Presents: Spider-Man “Why do they keep making Spider-Man suck so bad?” “He sucks so bad his parents left.” “And why is he like twelve in Civil War?” (In mocking falsetto voice) “Hey, everybody! These pants are waaaaayyyyyy tiiiiiiiight!” “He’s SUPPOSED to be young.” “Not THAT

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Giving this much more thought than it probably deserves: Kylo Ren. The guy is a shit-show. He’s a fan-boy at best, and comes across as some spoiled douche who picked up a few Force tricks on YouTube, and has some ghetto-looking cosplay thing going on (“I’M NOT DARTH VADER!! I

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Blog

Mid-Week Motion Picture Blockbuster Idea Time! In today’s pitch, we examine an alternate dimension/time travel story which may work even better as a YouTube channel, as the Copyright issues are more inexpensively solved by simply shutting it down, versus paying a lot of royalties and licensing fees; not to mention

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dombas
BlogForced LivingRant

While I mainly go to IKEA for the umlauts and other groovy punctuation, it’s those… how shall we say it? “Other People” that ruin the continental flair and experience. For your consideration: I find myself in need of a new desk (don’t ask… that story, my friend, will be in

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